I’ve called myself a helicopter parent and an attached parent in the past.  I used to be the mom who knew everything going on in their kids life and was on top of their game.  I’m not sure I can blame it entirely on IronMan training but we’ve been back to school for three weeks and I still don’t have my act together.

In three weeks I have managed to do many of the things I have judged other moms for.  The only thing I haven’t done yet is the walk of shame through the school hall taking my boys to their classroom with a late pass.  Their dad did that. Twice.

I used to be the person you could count on to get something done. I was the efficient entrepreneur, the triathlete who programmed her Garmin the previous night, and though I am not the wife who cooks, I would at least have the groceries purchased.

There were glimpses of this new me during the summer.  For example, I stood in front of an ATM in Portugal drawing a complete blank on my debit card PIN. I had already tried twice, and was afraid one more try and the machine would swallow my card into Portuguese bureaucracy hell.

But this is worst.  Here are snippets of what has been going on:

On training, as I show up for my long run:

Cynthia: “Where’s your bike?”

Me: “What bike?”

Cynthia: “You didn’t read the workout till the end did you? There’s a bike ride after the run.”

++++

On dinner:

Joe: “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Me: “Wait. Oh. Yeah … food. Hmmm.”

++++

On homework:

Fearless:  “Mami, you made me get an incomplete for my math homework!  You MADE me.”

Apparently he had to draw circles as well as answer 3+0= __.  I didn’t tell him to draw circles.  He still hasn’t forgiven me.

++++

On one of the hundreds of papers that come home from school:

Dreamer’s Teacher to another mom: “Yes, it’s $3.50 but she didn’t read the paper.”

++++

And on Wednesday early dismissal:

School secretary: “Mrs. Ramirez? Wednesday is early dismissal; your children are waiting for you at the office.”

I forgot to pick them up early.

WORST.MOM.EVER.

I was a teacher, and we also had early dismissal on Wednesdays and how many times didn’t I hear myself telling another teacher:

“Seriously?  What’s so hard about picking your kid up early on Wednesday?”

Oops.

I know organized people do lists, I do them too!  I just forget to look at them.  I wonder if this has to do with being tired, hungry or training all the time … or because Joe’s traveling schedule has been crazy, or because it’s Thursday.  Does it matter?

I may have the best intentions and judge myself by those, but the world judges me based on my actions.  And I don’t really care what the world thinks of me, but I do care, a lot, how I make my children feel.

I am fortunate to have two healthy happy boys. I don’t want to mess them up, but I cannot be hovering the whole time.  As they get older, there are more things to be on top of, and I just can’t be on top of it all without losing my mind.

So my strategy here is two-fold.  I made a commitment to try harder, to read the lists, to place visual reminders around the house, to treat myself as I would treat one of my students who needed help handling their day.

And I am passing some accountability to my boys.  Granted, they are six and seven but they can still take on some control. Why am I responsible for Fearless’ incomplete?  He can read the directions to his math homework as well as I can.  Why am I responsible if a book is late to the library?  So they get an incomplete and guess what they are going to do next time? Yep … my bet is that they are going to read the directions more carefully.

I don’t do my children any favors by coddling them, by carrying their backpacks, or reading their homework.  They are capable, and in the future the world will thank me for not raising two mama’s boys.  And right now, the world will thank me for not being the frazzled mom who is stalling the only open register at the grocery store because she can’t find her wallet.

I have also decided the first four weeks of school, from now until college, are a dress rehearsal.  I am not the brightest light bulb in the box so I need time to learn that math goes on the purple folder in the green expandable file while language arts goes in the orange plastic pronged folder (which, by the way, was a nightmare to find when shopping for school supplies). But then again, that’s not something I will need to remember from now on.

Tell the truth.  Did you ever forget your kids or am I really the WORST.MOM.EVER?