I am sure I will have many obstacles on my journey to the IronMan.  But right now, I am dealing with my first one.  In fact, I am staring at it right now.

Not the cute kid with the bed head though he is part of the equation, I am staring at the bike.  This is Slider – my new triathlon bike generously given to me this week.  I was at a dinner, and I spoke about my pipe dream of doing an IronMan, about Triathlon Mami, and of how far I have already come.  I talked about my old bike, Big Blue, and how my first step had to be getting a new bike to even think about this.  My super sponsor (who wishes to remain anonymous and no it is not my husband!) said “I’ll sponsor you. Meet you tomorrow at Key Cycling at 2:30 for the bike.”

My jaw dropped and then I said “thank you”.  The rest of the dinner was a blur.  I am sure I said a lot of things, and had great conversations but all I could think of was “Really? Did he just say I am getting a new bike?”I asked my coach what I should get, I asked for advice on Facebook, I started believing this can all be true.  I met my sponsor at Key Cycling and George recommended the bike I wanted – a Cannondale Slice.  In less than 5 minutes I was its owner!

Now, I am used to going to Key Cycling and crying for pennies.  Trying to squeeze a discount here or there and they tend to be very patient and understanding.  Every bike in my family (now six) has been purchased there.  So for them to see me come in, and in less than five minutes purchase the Slice with a price tag of over $2,000 was kind of a shock for everyone involved.

I told them: ”I know seem perfectly calm on the outside but inside I am going OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG.”

The week passed, Slider was ordered in my size, and yesterday I went to pick it up. Woo Hoo.  And today, it is sitting leaning against the sliding glass door of my kitchen.

I am not afraid of riding it.  I am TERRIFIED.  If you don’t know the background of my fear you can read it here.  So now I have the amazing, fast bike.  It is everything I have wanted for a very long time, and I am too scared to take it out.  This presents a clear problem if I am to train for triathlons.

My goal this weekend is to ride it without being clipped on around the parking lot.  Once that is mastered, then to ride with clip-ons in the parking lot, and then to ride with clip-ons on a rather empty road or side street.  I know I can get over the fear of handling Slider, but how about the fear of having an accident on the Rickenbacker Causeway?  How about the guilt (which though not necessary I cannot help myself from “going there”) of risking my safety when I have a family I love so much?  I have been riding on an indoor trainer and will keep my old bike on it for rainy days.  I also plan on being a very visible cyclist: picture a blinking Christmas Tree riding on the bike lane.  What else can I do to be as safe as I can possibly be riding out there?   I need to feel that my risks are mitigated in order not to feel the guilt, in order to get out there, and in order to overcome this first, of what I am guessing will be many, obstacles.