Today, 140+ children rode their bikes or trikes on our first Trike-A-Thon benefitting St. Jude’s Research Hospital.  The oldest of these children is six years old as I work in a preschool, and this was a school program.  To prepare, I went to each class and taught the kids about bike safety and about texting and driving.  And although it might be small, I feel like I have made a difference.  At our local supermarket, one three year old approached me to tell me that he was bringing his helmet to school; and I have received many comments from parents whose children have called them out for texting in the car: no one like your own child to stop you from texting and driving.

So when today I saw these kids riding their bikes and enjoying a beautiful day I became a bit melancholic.  I love being a teacher.  I have been working in the same school for five years now and have received much love from those little people.  In preschool, children are learning how to live socially, how to handle themselves away from home, and how to “work”.  For the past five years, I have witnessed human nature in its purest form: I have seen emotions too big to be contained.   From rage to devotion preschoolers are on a roller coaster and I am there to guide them.

But come August, I won’t be the teacher ushering in a new set of students.  I will be the blogger giving TriathlonMami a fair shot.   The safe thing to do would be to hold on one more year at school, continue blogging on the side, grow a bit more, and then dedicate myself to blogging only.  But that’s what I have been trying to do this past year and I am tired.  It’s exhausting having one husband, two jobs, two kids, and an intense training schedule.  When push comes to shove, the first thing that lags behind is Joe, then the blog, then the training, then my kids, then my job.  That’s just how I am.  I feel like the students under my care this year have received the teacher I have always been but the cost to me has been too great, and I am not sure I can keep this up for another year.

It’s a gamble. But it’s one I am willing to take.  I want to be able to write more, to finally add some needed things to TriathlonMami.com, to network and ultimately to find partners who want to come with me on this journey … wherever it may lead.  Had you told me ten years ago I would be training for an IronMan, I would’ve laughed.  Had you told me three years ago I would be quitting my job to write about a journey including an IronMan I would’ve called you crazy.  Yet here I am.

I have a general idea of where I am headed but I am open to the opportunities that may come; and working with bike safety and children this past week gave me some ideas of things I could be doing.  As for the school I leave behind, I have no doubts there will be tears come May. Yet there will be confidence that I am doing the right thing, and comfort that I am leaving before the next group of preschoolers gets a cranky, tired teacher.  Someone wonderful will come and take my classroom, while I go and find my place in a bigger one.